Download PDF Intimate Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence By David Deida
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Ebook About To truly understand your intimate relationships, you must read this book! David Deida, internationally known for his work in personal growth and intimate relationships, shares the deep understandings and effective techniques that he has refined through his 20 years of consultation, research and spiritual practice. Learn how to keep your relationships growing--beyond the sexually neutralized roles so typical of today--and create a relationship that is spiritually erotic, sexually deep and passionately committed to love.Book Intimate Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence Review :
Intimate Communion is an old book, first published in 1996, which, despite the vintage feel of the cover, still feels fresh and relevant 20+ years later. This is a book for both women and men, on what I would call conscious coupling or conscious intimacy, i.e. an evolved way of relating/relationships in which our intrinsic dominant sexual energies are fully expressed and supported within the relationship. Deida mixes his expertise as couples counselor and his knowledge of what makes some relationships thrive and collapse, his knowledge of what is characteristic to masculine and feminine essences and energy, a bit of Eastern Philosophy (pondering on the self, energy work and Tantric Sex). The result is Deida's unique voice in the world of couples counseling, a voice that needs to be taken into account to transcend most people's dissatisfying and unfulfilled relationships, where sexual apathy and/or cheating are too common to ignore.Deida defines Intimate Communion as the art of opening in love and the art of cultivating sexual polarity by gifting from our unique sexual essence. The aim is to supersede old forms of relating, get above an equal 50-50 relationship to another that can be 50-50 for many things but it is sexually charged, a relationship of free surrender in which both people feel alive and constantly feed their passion and natural non-tabooed flow of energies. Intimate communion has nothing to do with our gender, sexual orientation or religious beliefs. It is based on sexual energy, which varies from person to person disregarding their gender. Intimate Communion is a very honest open way of relating, based on respect, acceptance and surrender; it demands opening our heart moment by moment even when we are hurt and upset instead of retreating, giving the cold shoulder or punishing our partner for the hurt. Intimate Communion works on the three levels that keep a relationship finely tune through the ages: mind, heart and sexuality.MY HIGHLIGHTS>> Deida clearly explains the difference between love, romance and sexual polarity. He calls the attention to the fact that people often confuse gender equality and the neutralization of our native masculine or feminine sexual essences/energies. He also makes a relevant differentiation between men-women work and social equality and couple dynamics.>> The three stages of intimacy, of which Deida speaks over and over again, give you a clear sense of how intimacy is a process of growth, how different kinds of relationships work for men and women, and how emotional, sexual and gender issues manifest individually and deferentially in those three different stages.>> Deida's insight into the masculine energy is profound, and goes from the daily life to the metaphysical. It really helped me to recognize men I've come across in my life and realise the statge they were at. Deida understands the modern man's quest to regain his masculinity and become a 3rd stage man, that is, a man who does not need to dominate, domineer, or abuse his woman to unleash his true masculine energy. The 3rd stage man is an evolved man, psychologically reassured, who does not need to dominate and wants to relate to a woman who is at a similar stage of development. The 3rd stage man, the way is described, is a man around his 40s or older who has learnt life lessons and is ready to love freely, but it is also strongly committed, not because commitment is demanded or expected from him but because he is willing to do surrender. This commitment is not a ring on the finger, it is an attitude to relating in which sexual polarity is equally important and fully expressed.>> Deida gets the modern professional woman, not as much as the modern man, but I felt that many of the things he said were very true.>> Something new that I had never heard is that a person can have sexual love affairs with the environment. Just like human beings, places can be more or less feminine, masculine or neutral. And the energy of those places sometimes fills in the vacuum we have when our own sexual essence is not expressed in a polarised relationship.>> I loved the differentiation that Deida makes between a man's vision quest, man's escaping and man's diddling.TWO LITTLE CONNECTIONS>> I found that Deida's analysis would have benefited from Gary Chapman's points in The Five Love Languages (1995). One of the most important things you can do to re-energize your relationship is learning to recognize the way your partner gives love and wants love to be given to him/her. The love languages aren't based on polarity, doing-receiving-giving kinda stuff, but on the way individual personalities, disregarding gender, feel loved and express their love.>> Having John Gray's Men are from Mars and Women from Venus among my favorite books on relationships, I found that many of the things that Deida says in this book were basically a repetition of what Dr Gray told in 1992 (Deida's book was written in 1995).THE DOWNSIDES>> The quiz to figure out your sexual essence is very useful, but also very simplistic.>> The constant use of consciousness associated to male energy bothered me, not because I thought it wasn't meaningful as an element of a 3rd stage man, but because it seemed to imply that an enlarged consciousness is not as important to the feminine. Personally, I've found more women with high level of consciousness than men, my experience. I'm not saying that Deida believes that high consciousness is not proper to a highly evolved feminine woman, but the book reads as if consciousness is a privilege of the masculine.>> Although Deida's description and view of modern women is accurate in general, I felt that some of his discourse was anchored in the male's preference on how the feminine energy should be expressed, and how it was expressed in the past because women had no voice on anything until the beginning of the 20th century. Put it differently, one thing is feminine essence and another how that essence has been expressed in the past, where there weren't natural ways of expression for women except for those ways imposed and sanctioned by men. I found that some of Deida's statements felt in this category. A man telling a woman how to be feminine. Which is as ridiculous as woman telling a man how his scrotum feels in his pants. Two statements in this discourse really put me off: 1/ Deida says that the essence of the feminine woman is radiance and beauty, and that calling a woman ugly is the worse insult for a female. Well, that it's the case if you are talking to a superficial insecure moronic woman. Deida's statement is a distorted view of the female essence as some men would like it to be. A woman can be very feminine and spiritual and don't give a dam about beauty. Deida's statement also diminishes the intellect of the woman. I think most women would feel more insulted by a man telling them that their brain/intellect is 'unnecessary' to their femininity than being called ugly. I think that spirituality and intelligence contribute more to women's radiance that their beauty and most women would also tell you that. 2/ I found the following statement very dangerous: "Although it is a far cry from being sweetly ravished and overwhelmed by love in the ultimate embrace of perfect Intimate Communion with a partner, it is still a form of surrendering to another in the hope of fulfilment, just as is raising a family, opening sexually with Her lover, or giving Her time and energy to a social cause. In each case, She hopes to he filled with love by surrendering Her sense of self to something else. In the case of a woman in a Dependence Relationship like Charlene, this "something else" is often the control or aggression of her man-receiving his angry attention fills her more than receiving no attention at all". (Locs 2541-2544).The statement forgets that many women cannot leave an abusive relationship because they don't have economic independence, or a safe place where to escape, or they psyche is so damaged that they cannot counteract. It somewhat blames the female energy for the abuse.> Deida's advice on healing and overcoming old patterns of behavior in relationships might be contradicted by Jungian psychoanalysis, which tells you that this can be rarely achieved even you have the luxury of doing therapy; you can become conscious of your patterns of behaviors, ghosts and shadow issues, but overcome them, they say, rarely. You learn to live with them. Of course, solution-oriented therapy says that this is possible. So, who knows?!> There is a chapter about embracing the taboo, but Deida never explains what he exactly means by taboo nor digs on it. I would have loved a bit of a more open discussion this.> The book is very repetitive at times, with the same sentence repeated sometimes in contiguous paragraphs. That's the editor's fault.TYPO"Two Masculines do not a polarity make." (Loc., 2039).KINDLE RENDITIONThe conversion of the book into digital format shows a separation of the two parts of an h quite frequently, as well as some of the letters of a word. For the rest, no problem wit the formatting. If you ever wondered why some of your romantic/sexual relationships failed, you need to read this book. You might misinterpret this as Male & Female stereotypes....it's NOT. It's about sparking sexual polarity between a masculine essence and a feminine essence. I've seen this book transform my own relationships for the better and many many others that went from struggling in their relationships to turning them around!Deida's 1st book is arguably his best of all time. 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